me + schmirnoff ice + chris celebrating something + dancing + conrad inviting "someone" to meet us there + more schmirnoff ice = me falling asleep on denny's bathroom floor

not one of my prouder moments.

at least when my legs fell asleep and i smoked my head on the wall and fell over, i was at home for nobody to see. god my head hurts. at least we didn't see "someone". at least i hope we didn't. oh god, i hit on conrad. and grabbed his ass. and i did it to chris too. fuck me.

i need gatorade. and now.

oh lordy. i think i've just reached the point of delirium and snapped. not that its a bad snappage, but its there none the less. 'cause i'm just so tired and so wired and so sick of it all and annoyed and i miss people... yet at the same time, i'm quite content (at this very moment) and enjoy being around these people and its the weekend and i have major plans and yeah. its just one big fucking jumbly day. which is better than a boring one, i suppose. no, i don't suppose. it definately is.

and its raining. i've wanted a rainy day for a while. now i have an excuse to wear a whore sweater to work, lol.

my name and mellow never go into the same sentence. and i'm not saying that today is any different, but i'm definately feeling... laid back. woah. like i'm on drugs or something. but without the drugs of course. ::smiles::

the cutie in my english class sat next to me today. i gave him gum. oh yeah, way to make a move... lol.

my family is nuts. good lord. and its any wonder i have the sense of humor that i do.

my head hurts. gah.

well well, corruption... why does everyone laugh so hard when i tell them i get to write an essay on that? ::looks around innocently:: they can't possibly think that i am a corrupted child. no, wait, they can. ha!

aaaaand yeah. things are going. going going going....

you know, i probably shouldn't take it so personally. i shouldn't get so bitchy over it, 'cause its really gonna do me no good. we all know who she's gonna pick in the end regardless. but FUCK me in the ass with a goddamned wooden spoon---its getting fucking annoying to put up with this shit! i'm not going to go out of my way to call her anymore. she knows where i am. if she ever feels the need to want to get ahold of me---god forbid she take a moment of time away from her lover---she can find me. its not like i'm in accessable here. whatever.

as for the weekend? pffft, she can make her own plans. its not like she doesn't already.

what-fucking-ever.

gag me with a goddamned spoon.

i fucking love the new britney song. fucking love it. that's about all i really fucking love at the moment.

oh i'm so good at being bitter. ::cackles::

goddamn them. at least i'm putting effort in. i fucking hate not living in edmonton, you know? then i wouldn't be stuck here... with this.

so yeah. SQUID NIPPLES!

hahahaha... its so funny.

leanne is intregued by this whole blogging phenomenon. its not such a phenomenon as a bunch of people without enough to do, lol, at least in my opinion.

so "he" claims that i'm never ever ever talked about. but he also claims that he's 14 (a very mature 14 year old mind you... 'cause you know that its really mature pretending to be 10 years younger than you actually are)... and conrad just likes to lie to me. i'll have to hit up conrad for info again today.

and WTF? he's only 23! the world is a fucked up place man.

and what's up with blogger.com hating on me today? what did i ever do to you?

oh yeah... incase i've neglected to mention this before... AMERICAN HI-FI FUCKIN' ROCKS ASS!

okay. that's it.

goddamned geminis. ungh. why can't everyone i want to hang around with be a taurus and then we can all be happy and jolly? like on friends? phoebe and the lobster analogy? you know what i'm talking about.

i hate essays. tomorrow mine is going to get torn to pieces. literal itty bitty tiny pieces. thank god its just a rough draft.

but still. pieces.

if hollywood has taught me nothing, its that jiggling my boobs and showing some leg will bag me my man.

if that's the case, mission accomplished. dude, i even have new underwear.

he is going down.

i do not care what conrad says, i had a fun time. i really really enjoyed myself.

did i mention that the drinks were fabulous?

and i don't... i really really don't... have my hopes up. ::giggles::

who the fuck am i kidding? of COURSE i've got my friggin' hopes up! but i know better than to think that it'll actually, you know happen. but oh oh oh, this is looking good!

did i mention that i had a fun time tonight? good music, good drinks... yeah. we'll have to go there more often.

okay... so this is... good... YEAH!

i was trying to be all... i don't know, profound this morning. and its true, for most of the day i felt smrt... smart. you know, with it. ready, able and willing. but now i just feel HAPPY! happy to be ME! 'cause i'm a LOSER!

a loser goin' to the rumjungle tomorrow night. ::big, stupid HUGE-ass grin::

who needs the kwik-e-mart... who needs the kwik-e-mart... i doooooooooooooooooooooooooo

i haven't seen that episode of the simpsons in ever. haven't seen the simpsons in ever.

poor craig had a bad day today. cheer up buddy. i don't feel right making fun of someone who is feeling down.

lonnie is a knob.

my psych prof is nuts.

no. just no. i mean its... this is... not supposed to happen in this day and age. the more things change, the more they stay the same.

people are so fucking stupid.

what does it tell you when i'm not even in the mood to pick a fight? with CRAIG even? how could i pass up that golden opportunity?

blah. and its any wonder why i hate boys... between cody and conrad, i'm gonna fucking... UGHADJDLKFJ!!!

oh my fucking lance. please please save me. i dare you. no really. i dare you.

oh yeah, that was a figure of speech. the lance thing. i shouldn't swear and say God in the same sentence... it makes me feel all blasphemous and stuff. not good. no no no.

and i feel sort of young and insignificant, but that's not necessarily a bad thing... because insignificance isn't really the right word. insecure isn't either... but maybe its just unesainess. i don't feel bad about myself, i don't feel that i don't deserve to be there... here, there... there, here... either way. i just feel kind of... naieve. unexperienced. its not the end of the world though, 'cause i'm still having a ton of fun.

besides, i'm getting edumacated! isn't that all that matters??

blah. bitter morning wind and lukewarm coffee make me question my motives for getting up.

oh yeah. school.

so yeah. blogging is fun. more fun than class was this morning, that's for damn sure. i like to blog... blog blog blog blog blog.

oh yeah. you know it.

by the way, pepsi twist rocks. plug!plug!

you know, people are funny. and i wish i understood why... 'cause if i did, i'd write a book or something. and it would be a good book, an important book, because people love to know what makes others tick. hence this blog. not too many people read it... hell, i'd be surprised if anybody reads it. but perhaps one day someone will stumble upon it and read what i have on here for all the world to see. even the shyest person is prone to voyeurism every now and again, which is why things such as blogs and online journals (live journal and dead journal, for example) exist. we all want to be noticed for a few moments, and the great thing about the internet is that even for the shyest person, they are still allowed that comfort of anonymity. i mean, not everyone is an attention whore like me... but its nice to kind of get a reality check online too. i'm not the only one who wants to be noticed, who wants to recieve emails of praise because of a wonderful piece of writing they've seen on my website, who thinks i'm amazing and they want to know me. i'm one of millions, just another face in the crowd too. i'll never be the best, not by a long shot.

but i'll never be the worst, either. and that's something to hang onto.

i'm so full. i ate too much. and even worse than that, the food wasn't even that great. there's nothing worse than stuffing yourself with mediocre food.

well, perhaps stuffing yourself with mediocre food that the dog licked or something.

i fucking hate people.

for fucking real.